(via ode-to-a-grasshopper)

(Source: meanboy)

(Source: seanbonner)

Little Beast // Richard Siken

(via fourdreamsinarow-deactivated201)

organicsomethings:

13th Floor: Sexual Abuse - Janette…ikz

When you enter the elevator of a high rise building you will seldom find the button for the 13th floor. It is because of fear, superstition, or ignorance, that we pretend it doesn’t exist. The “13th floor” issues of abortion, sexual abuse, sex trafficking, and the sanctity of human life have become a widely unrecognized reality, accompanied by a basic fear of people, to honestly address these issues. 

-purepathonline.com

This. Watch it. Such beautiful testimony, spoken word, visual artistry, gospel message all combined. 

In truth, you like the pain. […] Your ability to withstand pain is your claim to fame. It is ascetic, holy. It is self-control. It is masochism, and masochism pleasurable to many, but we don’t like to think about that. We don’t like to think that a person could have a twisted autoerotic life going on, be both a top and a bottom, and experience both at once: the pleasure of beating the hell out of a body shackled at the wrists, and the pleasure of being the body and knowing we deserve each blow.

Marya Hornbacher, Wasted

euclase:

things we are trying to do all the time:

1. be safe

things we can’t help but do all the time:

1. second-guess ourselves
2. behave impulsively and reactively
3. take everything personally
4. worry
5. worry
6. worry
7. have difficulty accepting compliments
8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
9. have difficulty finding the courage to respond
10. have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
11. make a huge deal out of the smallest thing

things you should keep in mind:

1. we’re scared of everything
2. pretty much all of the time
3. it’s an actual disorder
4. it manifests as impulsive behavior
5. you can’t fix us with words
6. telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
7. it’ll only make us feel silly
8. and then we’ll worry even more
9. “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”
10. like that
11. also, we wear a lot of armor
12. cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes
13. we constructed this armor as children
14. we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
15. but there is a nice person under there, we promise

things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:

1. stick around
2. ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
3. be willing to change the place or situation if not
4. activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
5. talk to them even when they might not talk back
6. (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
7. try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
8. (the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
9. (and they knows this)
10. give them time to respond to you
11. they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
12. they will anticipate being judged
13. it took me four hours just to type this much
14. even though i sound casual
15. that’s because i have an anxiety disorder

things you shouldn’t do:

1. tell us not to worry
2. tell us we’ll be fine
3. mistake praise for comfort
4. ask us if we are “getting help”
5. force us to be social
6. force us to do things that trigger us
7. “face your fears” doesn’t always work
8. because—remember—scared of everything
9. in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself

emergency action procedure for panic attacks:

1. be calm
2. be patient
3. don’t be condescending
4. remind us that we’re not “crazy”
5. sit with us
6. ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
7. remind us that we are breathing
8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
9. if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
10. or breathe through our nose
11. or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
12. ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
13. help us change it
14. usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down

if you have an anxiety disorder:

1. it’s okay.
2. even if you worry that it’s not okay.
3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.
4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak.
5. i know there’s a person under all that armor.
6. and i know you feel isolated because of it.
7. i won’t make you take it off.
8. but know that you are not alone.

(via scaly-panties)

i cry, sometimes, with the force of my wanting

you are so warm

From “Daddy”
Sylvia Plath

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to kill you.
You died before I had time —
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one gray toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off the beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My Polack friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.